In an unprecedented move, Hillary Clinton has hired Belgian DJs Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike to head up her new outreach campaign to millennials.
Clinton has lagged behind fellow Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders with millennials since nearly the start of the presidential campaign, and as the time to choose an official Democratic candidate for president draws closer, she’s getting desperate.
“We’ve seen the success that Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike have had with their DJ Mag campaign, and we feel like they would be a good fit for us,” said a representative for Hillary Clinton. “Right now, we have them flashing promotional Hillary Clinton materials at their shows, on the LED screens and on customized LED bracelets that light up in beat with the music. We’re also rolling out flyers that will be included with tickets to their shows.” 
“We felt that Dimitri and Mike had really put the time in and it was their turn to be number one,” said another high-level rep, “so naturally who better to run our campaign?”
Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike were awarded the #1 DJ placement on last year’s annual DJ Mag Top 100 list, amidst massive controversy. The duo has been accused in the past of cheating people into voting for them by having women approach people on the streets in Belgium with iPads and asking them to vote.
Clinton has been feeling pressure after a streak of wins in major states on March 15, as well as a win in Arizona, after which Sanders has swept states. As the caucus moves into territory that is more favorable for Sanders, Clinton is looking for an innovative leg up.
“A bird lands on his podium and he gets a bump in the polls… I don’t get it,” lamented Clinton in a press conference announcing the new hire. “In order to engage millennials, we’ve brought on a team of professionals who know how to get people to the polls.”
Go-go dancers have already been seen outside United States venues where the Belgian duo are performing. Except this time, they’re not campaigning for DJ Mag, they’re registering ravers to vote.
When approached for comment, Sanders’ campaign spokesman said they were not concerned. “Those guys haven’t even sold out their Palladium show in LA yet. We sold out the Memorial Sports Arena. You tell me where the real ticket value is in this race.”
(This is an April Fool’s.)
