Behold ‘Beamz’ – Flo Rida’s Groundbreaking Business Venture

Have you ever woke up in the morning and thought, “Damn. Why am I not a famous rock star or DJ? Why am I doing all these music lessons? And why am I not Flo Rida?” Well, sigh no more folks! With the Beamz Interactive laser music-maker thingy, you too can be a star with no experience or talent whatsoever! Like Flo Rida!

Throughout music history, some pop stars have made excellent career moves by getting behind some lucrative business deals. Dr. Dre has his Beats, Michael Jackson had Pepsi and the Beatles catalogue at his disposal and recently, Deadmau5 now has Space Invaders at his beck and call. Whether or not Beamz will turn out be as successful is unclear but this hasn’t stopped the likes of Deadmau5 having a pop at him:

seriously though… at least at one point during that commercial shoot, Flo must been like "man… someone might see this… mmmnahhhhhhh fuckit."

— deadmau5 (@deadmau5) September 10, 2013

Strong words from a man with a Space Invaders tattoo on his neck.

However, upon watching the infomercial it’s clear why anyone would feel tempted to have a go at Mr. Flo Rida. It’s ridiculous. Anyone with half a brain cell of intelligence would realize that the product is nothing short of a gimmick and about as revolutionary as the Theremin rather than a Moog modular synthesizer. Yet the infomercial keeps spouting the same crap you’d expect to hear from such low-key rubbish… “Why spend thousands of dollars on music equipment or frustrating music lessons when you can get Flo’s Beamz and perform your favourite music instantly?”

To be fair, that is a good question. Especially when the tracks available to ‘mix’ vary from AC/DC to Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift. Yip, all of your favourite music, so get ready to be the toast of the town… Or more realistically, your bedroom.

So if you’re still considering purchasing the product and if you’re still considering mixing Flo Rida with AC/DC by the power of lasers (Actually, You Shook My Whistle All Night Long would be quite awesome), then check out the infomercial and laugh. Laugh at the ridiculousness of it all and laugh at the guy doing a rather unconvincing Skrillex impression:

@BrendanDuncan