Selena Gomez’s “baby dubstep” album, “Stars Dance,” has officially beat out Jay Z to reach No. 1 on the Billboard 200. Sigh.
As could be expected, all 13 songs on the album were pretty horrible. Although it was hard to choose one in particular to highlight, I think “Birthday,” really takes the cake (no pun intended). Throughout the song, Gomez instructs the listener to “tell ’em that its my birthday” and to “blow your dreams away with me,” whatever that means. She also punctuates these lyrics with random moaning sounds, for an altogether awkward listening experience. 
Coming in at a close second, “B.E.A.T.” seems to be her concert anthem. The general style is similar to Dev’s “Bass Down Low,” except 10000x more annoying. Also, the most repeated line of the song is “beat in my face” so take from that what you will.
Overall, the album just sounds pretty confused. The mash of musical styles (from various genres of EDM to some reggae… chanting?) doesn’t seem to fit well together. Also, there is an overtly sexual emphasis, but compiled with the PG13 lyrics, it just makes you feel kind of dirty.
From all of the emphasis on the “baby dubstep” style, I was expecting a lot more, well… dubstep. I mean, Taylor Swift’s foray into dubstep had more bass in it than this. At the end of the day, it just sounds like typical manufactured pop music. But hey, at least she’s not twerking and making out with doll heads like Miley Cyrus.
If you’re still curious to hear some of this “EDM” feel free to check out the video below. Prepare to regret it all day, because terrible or not this shit is catchy and it WILL get stuck in your head.
Selena Gomez – Slow Down
this sh*t sux! would even put it in the same class as “dubstep”.
Even the instrumental version of that wouldn’t be tolerable.
Why? Why is this happening? WHY?
please seriously does the people in this office work on drugs?
INNA?
http://www.soundcloud.com/r33son for some dubstep electro 🙂
baby dubstep? don’t even know wtf is this? dubstep for babies? please don’t hurt their ears.
She would do great at some Vocals for some tracks for some DJ’s but a whole damn album?
Why didn’t dupstep had an abortion…
I couldn’t go past a minute. It just sounds like regular pop music. :l
I’m just going to pretend this album doesn’t exist.
this chick is the most useless waste of a human being. somehow she is a musician, an actress, and a TV star. yet, she has no talent in any of them. how is she even allowed to to have a bank account?
I love that she says “sow down the song” right when it drops into the chorus…….speeding it up? haha
She better NEVER sing Vocal Trance.
It’s the lyrics that kill me! The productions aren’t bad (though some are pretty close to awful) and the vocals def aren’t great, the lyrics are just so dumb! The songs on the album sound like a pre-teens diary entry. Just so not good…
Yea that’s not even a fetus, sorry Selena.
I liked it 🙂
A pop artist trying to make dubstep. That’s cute 🙂
This is fucking terrible.
This is fucking terrible.